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The Obligatory Wine With Halloween Candy Post

Do you like to drink with this stuff? Image credit: Business Insider

It's that time of year! Get ready for (if you haven't seen them yet) the blitz of articles about pairing wine and other booze with Halloween candy.

Before I get into the meat of this topic, let me start with this: Halloween is quite the production in my neighborhood. Everyone around here understands we have a window of time to celebrate and generally just have a good time. When it's done, it's done; people have jobs to get to and life to deal with the next day. During that time, however, the neighborhood has fire pits and music. Some houses have some tasty beverages for the adults to sample while kids get the traditional range of "fun size" candies, along with a sprinkling of full-size confections from the really awesome houses.

So whether you end up enjoying Halloween with the neighborhood for a few hours, or end up coming back from trick-or-treating with the kids to knock down a beverage or two, there's always one thing to remember if you are going to pair your booze of choice with candy:

Make sure your drink is (or seems) sweeter than the candy you are eating.

I can't stress that point enough. Dry wines and light beers are going to taste very thin and harsh with just about any type of candy, whether it is fruit flavored, chocolatey, peanut buttery, or anything else. Sorry, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, and many Italian white wines...you are out. IPAs and (Insert macrobrew here) Lite? So are you. High-tannin or light-bodied red wines? Brutal. Your beer and wine will just taste astringent and tart. These are all mighty fine adult beverages and I love them all...just not today.

However, there are some ways to get around this rule of thumb when it comes to drinking with candy, especially if you just don't like sweet wine or other alcoholic beverages. Sometimes playing around with flavor composition, illusions of sweetness, and texture can help make a pairing work.

Less than an hour away from home, Two Roads has always delivered on just about any beer I have had from them. The Oktoberfest is no different.

Let's start with the beer-drinkers. While most beers aren't necessarily sweet, there is a component of a brew that can give you the impression of sweetness on your palate: malt. That's right...most malty beers feel full-bodied and creamy with a caramel/chocolate/toffee flavor profile. These are all the aspects of a malty beer that can play nicely with your Twix, Kit-Kats, and Butterfingers. Newcastle Brown Ale and other English Brown Ales work nicely with these candies. Additionally, go for what is readily available at this time of year: Oktoberfest/Märzen style beers. These are a little lighter and not quite as malty as a Brown Ale, but has some of the sweet fall baking spice notes. Whether you go with the ubiquitous-but-steady Sam Adams or a local craft brewery, you can't go wrong (assuming you like the style, of course). If you prefer to steal the fruity candies like Starbursts and Skittles from your kids, try a Fruit Lambic; Lindemans tends to be the most readily available of this style and finishes sweeter than other producers.

Now, what do we do about wine? If you are not a sweet wine lover, then we need to find wines that are full-bodied, fruity, and assertive. Oaked Chardonnay does the trick with the bold, tropical fruit flavor, butterscotch and cream (the byproduct of malolactic fermentation), and sweet spices. Look no further than the outwardly named "Butter" by JaM Cellars. It's going to have all of that for about $15. Great for popping the candy corns or even milk chocolate.

Fruit-forward, full-bodied reds can work wonders with candy.

For a "dry" red, Australian Shiraz and California Zinfandel can be so ripe, full-bodied, and jammy, the wines will leave you with a sweet sensation on the finish. Yalumba Y Series Shiraz ($15) or Bogle's Old Vine Zinfandel ($10) keeps things simple and straightforward. The red fruit bomb that is the Zinfandel and the raisiny/figgy/peppery character of the Shiraz will each give you what you need for dark chocolate candy.

A little off the beaten path, but worth trying if you find it. Alvear offers terrific value with all of their products.

For the sweet wines, Port and dark chocolate has long been an essential pairing; the complexity of each feeds off of one another. You can also consider the syrupy, chocolatey, and mouthcoating Pedro Ximinez ("PX") Sherries; PX can be poured over ice cream for some serious indulgence if rummaging through Halloween candy isn't good enough. It will just overwhelm any confection you throw at it, though it will play well with a Snickers or Reese's since Sherry generally has a nutty character to it. Bodegas Alvear's Solera Cream ($18) is made with 100% PX grapes in the region of Montilla-Moriles, a production area more inland with a hotter climate than the traditional Sherry regions. As a result, the wines are less expensive.

We haven't touched on enough wine to drink with your fruity candies. Go big or go home, I say, with the Hungarian sweet wine known as Tokaji [toe-KYE]. Royal Tokaji Wine Company Red Label Tokaji is peachy, citrusy, and full of honey. There is always Ice Wine from Canada, the Finger Lakes, and Austria that are delicate, fruity, and sweet, but with plenty of acid to prevent the wine from feeling sticky sweet on your palate. Inniskillin is a well-known Canadian producer as is Nigl of Austria. If you are willing to spend $40 for a 500mL bottle, dive in (then save whatever is left in the bottle to enjoy with fruit tarts and cakes on a later date).

A mere ounce of this stuff instantly boosts the flavor of any beverage. Feel free to go inexpensive on the vodka. I won't tell.

Now, what if you are into spirits? Well, one of the easiest things you can do is hook yourself up with a flavored vodka of choice, mix with lemonade, and be on your way to gorging on Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Jolly Ranchers, and Gummi Bears/Worms/Other Creatures. One concoction we enjoy in the summer is blueberry vodka with lemonade, and honestly you can get away with that year round. Or, grab the magic Cognac and raspberry liqueur known as Chambord ($35-ish) and add that to your flavored vodka. No Twizzler stands a chance.

Here are some others you can work with as well in the spirits department: Bailey's Irish Cream and a Milky Way, El Dorado 12 Year Rum with any caramel candy (or even those banana Laffy Taffy things), and Champagne and pretzels (there will be pretzels in the candy bag, I promise you...and that's a good reason to drink Champagne).

Hey, have fun with this. I have seen some posts out there on the topic that give zero explanation as to why any of the pairings work. Hopefully, I make some sense with my line of thinking, but I would also love to hear what you enjoy with the Halloween haul. Just remember this: alcohol and sugar dehydrate you. Consume both for long periods of time without some water or other food in-between shoveling in the sweets can lead to some wretched hangovers. Enjoy the evening in moderation and, of course, be safe!